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Meme's Mornings
Monday, 1 December 2008
- I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
- All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.
- What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
- They told me I was gullible … and I believed them.
- Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
- Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
- Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
- What if there were no hypothetical questions?
- One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.
- When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
- A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
- My weight is perfect for my height — which varies.
- I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
- The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.
- How can there be self-help “groups”?
- Is there another word for synonym?
- The speed of time is one-second per second.
- Is it possible to be totally partial?
- What’s another word for thesaurus?
- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
- Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.
- It’s not an optical illusion. It's just like one.
Saturday, 29 November 2008
SEE IF YOU CAN FIND 16 OF THE BOOKS OF THE BIBLE IN THE FOLLOWING
ARTICLE.
I once made a remark about the hidden books of the Bible. It was a lulu,
kept people looking so hard for the facts and for others it was a revelation. Some
were in a jam, especially since the names of the books were not capitalized,
but the truth finally struck home to numbers of readers. To others it was a
real job. We want it to be a most fascinating few moments for you. Yes there
will be some real easy ones to spot. Others may require judges to help them.
I will quickly admit it usually takes a minister to find one of them, and
there will be loud lamentations when it is found. A little lady says she
brews a cup of tea, so she can concentrate better. See how well you can
compete. Relax now, for there really are sixteen names of books in the Bible
in this story. 
Good Morning Everybody! 
It is a beautiful morning God has given us today! Psalm 118:24
24 This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it. Just take a deep slow breath and close your eyes and just feel the warm embrace in the arms of Jesus. Such a comfort, the love, the grace, the mercy, the forgiveness. Ah.....just feel it. Now notify your face and SMILE! Have a JOYFUL day in the LORD! Love, Meme 
Creation When God made the earth and sky,
the flowers and the trees,
He then made all the animals,
the fish, the birds, the bees.
And when at last He'd finished,
not one was quite the same.
He said I'll walk this world of mine
and give each one a name.
And so he traveled far and wide
and everywhere he went,
A little creature followed him
until its strength was spent.
When all were named upon the earth
and in the sky and sea,
The little creature said, "Dear Lord,
there's no name left for me!"
Kindly the Father said to him,
"I've left you to the end,
I've turned my own name back to front
and called you Dog, my friend." 
Doggie Don't Don't smell crotches, don't eat plants.
Don't steal food or underpants.
Don't eat my socks, don't grab my hair!
Don't rip the stuffing from the chair.
Don't chew my shoes, what is this mush?
Eat your cookies, drink your drink,
Outta the toilet! Outta the sink!
Away from the litterbox, it's for the cat.|
(And must you kiss me after that!?)
Raising a puppy is not for the lazy,
Those rugrats are funny but also quite crazy.
Don't despair through the toil and the strife,
Cause after three years, you'll get back your life.
So let's go for walkies so you can do your "thing."
And maybe I'll get back my good diamond ring!
Friday, 28 November 2008
Satan Called a Worldwide Convention. 
In his opening address to his evil angels, Satan said, "We can't keep the Christians from going to church. We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth. We can't even keep them from forming an intimate, abiding relationship experience in Christ. If they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken. So, let them go to their churches; let them have their conservative lifestyles, but steal their time, so they can't gain that relationship with Jesus Christ. This is what I want you to do, angels. Distract them from gaining hold of their Saviour and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!" "How shall we do this?" shouted his angels. "Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds," he answered. "Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow. Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford empty lifestyles. Keep them from spending time with their children. As their family fragments, soon, their home will offer no escape from the pressures of work! "Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice. Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive. To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music constantly. This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ. Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. "Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards. Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogues, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes. Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines so the husbands will believe that external beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives. Ha! That will fragment those families quickly! "Even in their recreation, let them be excessive. Have them return from their recreation exhausted, disquieted and unprepared for the coming week. Don't let them go out in nature to reflect on God's wonders. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, concerts and movies instead. Keep them busy, busy, busy! And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences and unsettled emotions. "Go ahead, let them be involved in soul winning; but crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus. Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause. It will work! It will work!"
It was quite a convention. The evil angels went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get more busy and more rushed, going here and there. I guess the question is: Has the devil been successful at his scheme? You be the judge! Does "busy" mean:
B-eing U-nder S-atan's Y-oke?
Thursday, 27 November 2008
What you need: 1 coffee mug (must be microwave safe) 4 tablespoons flour (that's plain flour, not self-rising) 4 tablespoons sugar 2 tablespoons baking cocoa 1 egg 3 tablespoons milk 3 tablespoons oil 3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional) some nuts (optional) Small splash of vanilla Directions: Add dry ingredients to mug and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips, nuts (if using), and vanilla, and mix again. Put your mug in the microwave and cook for three (3) minutes on high. (The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!) Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired. EAT! (this can serve 2 if you want to share!) And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world? Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!
November 27th, 2008 
George Washington’s 1789 Thanksgiving Proclamation Whereas it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me “to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness :” Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted’ for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us. And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have show kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best. Given under my hand, at the city of New York, the 3d day of October, A.D. 1789. 
Matt, an eighth grade teacher, was in a huge hurry. With guests arriving at his home shortly, he had a small list of things to buy. With 14 items in his basket, he decided to chance it and use the "10 items or less" express line. Matt’s heart pounded when he saw Phil, one of his students, come toward him. Matt talks a lot about honesty and ethics and, as he feared, Phil was all too happy to catch him doing something wrong. Sure enough, with a big "gotcha" smile Phil loudly proclaimed, "You have too many items. That’s cheating." On the scale of moral transgressions, misusing the express line is a misdemeanor. But the inconsistency between Matt’s words and actions can, nevertheless, seriously undermine his message about the importance of ethics and his personal credibility. Whether he’s officially "on duty" or not, a teacher is expected to set a good example. It’s the same for all people in authority, including parents and bosses. And when they fail to do so, there are consequences. Yes, it’s unfair to judge a person’s character by such small offenses, but many will. Though we judge ourselves by our best intentions and most noble acts, others are likely to judge us by our last worst act. Here’s a simple strategy: act as if there’s a tiny TV camera on your shoulder broadcasting all your words and actions. If what you’re thinking of doing isn’t consistent with the image you want to convey, don’t do it.
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